Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What if I can't stand it?

Yesterday I was taught a lesson by my sweet 7 year old. He was planning on taking a karate class with 2 of his friends. I hadn't quite decided if I wanted to put him in the class, so when I finally made the decision the class was full. When I told Dallin, he collapsed in tears. He was so disappointed and was just bawling. I gave him my spiel about having a good attitude and how life doesn't always work out like you plan. He then said,
" How can I have a good attitude? What if I just can't stand it?"

All of a sudden, I didn't know what to say.

One of my weaknesses is my inability to deal with disappointment. I feel like I have a positive attitude in general, almost to the extreme. I decide how certain events are going to turn out, always assuming the best, and then when they don't turn out as planned, I too have collapsed in tears on many occasions. This is not going to be his last experience with a bummer situation and I guess I better learn now how I am going to help him through these. I am working on this on my own, and now my son will join me in my learning.

Any advice? For me and for him...

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Happy 7th Birthday, Dallin!

7 years ago today my life was changed forever. I became a mother! It did not go the way I imagined, but I instantly fell in love with this tiny little version of Jeff. (Look at those little legs!) As they wheeled me into the OR for my C-section, my dr. said, "I am sure this is a big baby and that's why we are having a hard time getting him out." As they pulled out my scrawny 21 inch, 6 lb 1 oz baby, he could have never been more wrong. I was scared to take care of him, afraid I would break him, but I am so grateful he was little as I feel like I got extra cuddle time with him. The C-section was a disappointment when they first told me, but I was just glad to have a healthy baby to hold. My mom wouldn't be coming for 10 days and I was terrified of my recovery, so I actually listened to the Dr. when he said to take it easy for the first 2 weeks. It was the best advice I was ever given. I enjoyed every moment with my new little baby. I never regretted how much I held him and played with him and cuddled him. I learned that dishes could wait, the bed didn't always need to be made, and the most important part of my day was with Dallin. I am so grateful for this perspective I had with him. As I struggled with infertility before baby #2 I am glad I was able to build a strong relationship with Dallin. He is a sweet little boy who has blessed my life for 7 years. Here are some things about Dallin:

1. He would never hurt anyone. I love that I don't worry about him getting in trouble. I can feel comfortable leaving him anywhere. That is just the demeanor he was born with-just like his dad.
2. He loves to learn. From a young age I have enjoyed teaching him random things because he memorized pretty quickly. It was a game that I would try to surprise Jeff with the things that Dallin would do. (It still is!)
3. He is very conscientious and follows rules exactly. He is also good at correcting others when they aren't following the rules. (including me.) One of my favorite stories was just at student conference on Friday his teacher told me that she gives Dallin the spelling list to double check for her before she photocopies it for the class. Too cute!
4. His level of focus. He gets on one thing and hyperfocuses. It's all he wants to do over and over and over...right now it is Tetherball! When it is rainy they don't get to go outside to play and he comes home in tears. I told him this is going to be a long winter, and that's when I decided his birthday present would be a tetherball.
5. He is getting sassy. I am not always happy about this but I love seeing the spunk to his personality and watching his sense of humor grow. When he was a baby it was hard work getting him to smile, but oh so rewarding!
6. I love watching him with his friends. He has been lucky to grow up with very good buddies since he was a baby. (I am lucky for this too. Their moms are some of my best friends!)
7. I feel a special closeness to him. It makes me grateful I had the C-section. If I hadn't I think I would have been quicker to be up and doing things. I enjoyed each aspect of watching him learn and grow. I miss the time I had with him and I hope he knows how much I love and treasure him.

We did not do a birthday party this year, but decided to have a playdate with some boys that he doesn't get to see much anymore thanks to school. They played some basketball, traded Pokemon cards and just enjoyed being boys. It was fun watching them play Guitar Hero and I was very proud that Dallin knows every word to "Eye of the Tiger." Makes a mom proud!

We surprised him with the tetherball court and he played all day. We could barely get him out of the house to go to Chuck E. Cheese. We went there with just our little family and had a great time together.

Today his birthday weekend continued as we ate cake and ice cream during half time of the football game. I hope his day was special! We had a great time. We are grateful for the presents that were sent and the phone calls he received. He knows how loved he is!