Monday, May 29, 2006

What I hope I can learn from running...

Well, today was the day! After running off and on since I was in high school, today I ran 5 miles and felt amazing. I wasn't meeting anyone(I had already missed the 6am meeting time due to a fun party at Suzie's), so it was just me, my mp3 player and the road. This was truly the first time in 12 years(wow!) I can say a run was easy for me. I run now because it is just what I do. I have been very consistent with my running (maybe too consistent if you ask other people :-)), with the end goal that someday it would feel "natural." It has been a long "road" but I am proud of where I am. I still have many goals (Boston anyone?), but I feel today was a huge milestone. There have been many times I wanted to give up running because I wasn't very good, and I am so grateful I persevered and proved that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. Now, I just want to apply this to the rest of my life. Being a homemaker is definitely not "natural" to me. My disorganized, chaotic brain just does not know where things are "supposed" to go. I get overwhelmed very easily by the tasks involved in "running" a household. Sometimes I want to give up because of the fear that I will never be successful. As I look into the eyes of my darling children and my sweet husband, I realize there can be no giving up. With the help of good friends, prayer, a sense of humor, a loving family, and my own determination, I will figure it out just like I have finally figured out how to run. And someday, I hope to feel the same way about my skills as a homemaker as I feel today about my running. Any ideas and tips always appreciated. :-)

4 comments:

katie said...

I can really relate to your "homemaking is not natural". I have always wanted to be a mom, I always loved babysitting and being around kids I thought I would be great. I am so not like that. I don't get how some women love to answer a million questions a day, and after five I am so annoyed you can tell by my voice. I find myself not laughing a lot lately, and I need to change that. I am learning to really pray about what I need as a mother. And I am also realizing that I am the type of mother I am, and I need to work on that more than trying to change into who I think is a better mom, did that make sense? I find that I am always thinking about how so and so did it, rather than how I can do it, and working on me. I am learning to accept me as a mother, and helping my faults grow and strengthen, and not worrying that I don't play all day with my kids like so and so, and I don't can like so and so. Yes I could learn but if I don't like it, oh well.
I am still learning how to balance and change it because just when you think you have it, boom they start kindergarten and now I have to learn how to be a mom to a child in school. Like you running has taught me a lot, I hope one day to say it like you, that was easy, but I also hope that the rough patches stay, because I work harder and I dig deeper and bam I start becoming the mom I want to be, just like you became the runner you wanted to be.

Suzie Petunia said...

I am so happy for you!!! You work harder than anyone I know to improve and I can see it really paying off. You were kicking my butt this morning! You're gonna figure out the housework stuff just like you have running. It'll come. I see myself learning new little things everyday that help, though I am far from satisfied with myself, too. Just remember to say to yourself when you think the house stuff is too difficult: "If I can run a MARATHON... I can do this!"

marathonmommy said...

Katie- I love how you said that you want the rough patches to stay. So do I, just not so many of them. :-) I love learning and growing, I just want the spirit to be felt in my home, and I know it is felt more when it is clean. :-) However, my priority has always been playing with my kids. I just don't know how to play AND clean.

Suzie- The weird thing is I don't feel like I can say that I have run a marathon. I know that is crazy, but you of all people, know the difference between a normal run and a bad run for me. So, this marathon on Saturday, I need to have a good run so I CAN say I have run a marathon. Thanks for being so supportive. You are a wonderful friend.

Suzie Petunia said...

You HAVE run a marathon! (A couple in fact!) You are too hard on yourself. But this Saturday will be good.

We missed you this morning! Kirsten and I started the run by going past your house and knocking on the door. Did you hear us? You must have been very tired! But it's ok - we all have days like that. I had a couple of them in a row last week... :)