Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Tears of Motherhood

I know I am not a great blogger, and the main reason is because I am self-conscious of my writing ability, or should I say, my lack thereof. Anyway, today was one of the hardest days I have had, and I thought I needed to document it, regardless of my skills. Here goes:
We are leaving for Lake Powell tomorrow, and I spent the first part of my day running errands. Around 4:30, I finally had a chance to start packing. I went outside to take the trash out and get some clothes out of my trunk. Dallin immediately went outside and grabbed Emily's trike. (She was sleeping, so I guess he thought it was fair game.) He just rides up and down the sidewalk. I saw him speeding back toward me and it was then that I noticed my neighbor's truck had its trailer hitch sticking out into the sidewalk. I tried to warn Dallin, but it was too late. His leg hooked the hitch and he started screaming. I ran toward him. I didn't think it would be too bad, but I pulled up his shorts and gasped.
There was a one inch long gash about a half inch wide and about a centimeter deep. I was so terrified I froze. I held him in my arms and walked back and forth for a minute. My neighbor was there and she helped calm me down. She went inside the house with me and we laid him on the couch. He was still crying and didn't want us to touch it. It wasn't bleeding too badly. My neighbor told me to look for gauze and athletic tape. I was able to find both and our other good friend showed up at that moment and helped me bandage Dallin up. I thought Dallin would need stitches so I called the Dr. first who told us to come in. He said they could do stitches there if we needed them. I called Jeff to let him know what was going on. My good friend and neighbor, who is a paramedic, came and looked at Dallin and told us he definitely needed to go in and she thought they would reccommend stitches. She told me to call her if they were going to do stitches because I would need support. She took Emily for me so that I could take Dallin on my own. Dallin was very brave in the Dr. office. They told me immediately he would need stitches. Jeff asked if he could make it in time and I didn't think he could, so I called Amy. She came in to give support. When she told me I would have to hold Dallin down, I started bawling. No mother should ever have to do that to their child. He screamed through the numbing medicine, and at one point Amy asked him if he could really feel it, and he stopped for a minute and realized the pain was gone. :-) The relief in his eyes was priceless. From then on, he was all smiles. He actually thought it was kind of cool that he couldn't feel anything. He then preceded to fall asleep while they were stitching him up. I wish I had a picture of that. I have never felt such pure love and heartache at the same time. I never want to watch my child go through that much pain. Yet, I know it will happen again. Probably not in the same way, but it will happen nonetheless. We are here to learn and grow and make choices. Some will bring us happiness, and some will bring us sorrow. I think I understand a little more how my parents felt when I made decisions that weren't the best. I hope they know how much I love them and appreciate their unconditional love. I hope Dallin knows how much I love him no matter what. I will hold his hand and cry with him whenever necessary.


cherl said...

Poor little guy! Is this what I have to look forward to?? I always say the same "no parent should ever have to do this" when I take my guy in for his shots (and those are only shots!). Why is it that we have to be the one to hold them down and be in any way associated with what is going on? I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you! Though I'm sure he's running around now like nothing ever happened. They are so resilient at this age.

Have a great vacation and keep blogging!

Suzie Petunia said...

Oh, my dear friend! I wish I had been there for you! What a horrible day you had! Dallin is such a brave, sweet boy. That picture of him at the Dr. is priceless. I hope you have a wonderful time in UT. Call and keep blogging. You are a good writer - don't be self concious. See, I didn't even spell that right. :) Miss you already!

I ran a whopping 3 miles with Kristy and Marnie this morning. we missed you. At least we didn't walk any of it! :)