Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I'm Defying Gravity...

Yep, I am still on a "Wicked" kick. I know I still need to post my Easter pictures, but I just had to record my experience today. I had the most AMAZING run this morning. It has been 10 months since I started running after having Bryce, and this was the first run that felt "easy." Those of you who aren't runners, I promise there is a point you reach where running actually feels good! I started off with two good friends and then let them go ahead and do a faster run and it was just me and my music. The sky was clear, not a cloud in sight (rare for Oregon!) and it was a deep, beautiful blue. I could see Mt. Hood in the distance for much of the run and felt the peace that comes from knowing I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and created this beautiful place for His children.

Running has been the perfect escape for me and time to be by myself. I have needed this more than ever in these past 3 months. I thought running would fall by the wayside as I have struggled with my emotions, but it has been my release and my comfort. I hadn't planned on trying to qualify for Boston just yet, but everything has been coming together and I have decided to go for it. I have been working harder than I have ever worked before and I am so happy with the results. 3 days a week of speedwork has been tough, and I don't always want to be doing it, but I love how I feel when I am finished!

I am not a "natural" runner, in fact in high school I was the slowest one on the cross country team. But since I have had children I have found my passion is setting goals and accomplishing them. Running is a great place to do this because you are only competing with yourself. I have had an awesome network of running friends who have encouraged me and supported me, both in my running and in my life. (Sometimes those 2 things are one and the same!) I have a very supportive husband who has let me focus on this aspect of my life. I have loved proving to myself that I can stick with something so completely. No more giving up because I am not the best at it. This has translated to so many other areas of my life. So, here I am. In 2 1/2 weeks, I will get to possibly make a dream come true. Does this scare me? Of course. But, I am so excited about the prospect! As I hit mile 4 of my run today, this song came on. How can these words not inspire you?! (It helps that I just saw the amazing performance of this song and it was my favorite part of the play!)

Something has changed within me.
Something is not the same.
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game.
Too late for second-guessing.
Too late to go back to sleep!
It's time to trust my instints.
Close my eyes, and leap!
It's time to try defying gravity.
I think I'll try defying gravity, and you can't pull me down!

'm through with accepting limits,
'Cuz someone says they're so!
Some things I cannot change,
but 'till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
loosing love, I guess I've lost!
Well, if thats love, it comes at much to high a cost!
I'd sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodby!
I'm defying gravity, and you can't pull me down!

So, on April 19th, please be thinking of me. The hardest part for me will be not being able to call my father, the first person I always called after a race, and my biggest cheerleader. However, there is no question in my mind that he will be there cheering me on. I hope to make him proud!


Charity said...

Thanks for putting it into words so well. I will send prayers your way on the 19th, you and all the other Marathon Mommies of course!

"There is no chance, no fate, no destiny, that can circumvent, hinder, or control, the firm resolve of a determined soul." GO BOSTON!

JP said...

I wish I could explain how you Mommies inspire me. I had such a poopy run this morning, it was awesome to read about your wonderful run and it helps me remember that I experience that too. I am the furthest thing from a "natural" runner...so it's wonderful to read about your experience.

I'm so excited for you and your goals.

marathon mom said...

Sounds like a great run Kelly!!! Reading your description is motivating. I'll think of you when I am running on the 19th, and I know both of our dads will we with us all 26.2 miles and after!

Valerie said...

I'm proud of you Kelly! I know how much this all means to you. Please keep me posted and remember in your spare time...I tagged you!! Love ya bunches!

Chelle said...

This post was perfect. I'm so glad you shared this -- I loved every word.
You've taken your training to a level that I didn't (the Boston level!), and you deserve to have this dream come true. : )

Steel Magnolia said...

I know exactly how you feel...awesome post! You ROCK!!! I'm training alone so it's motivating to read everyone's blogs about keeping the spirit alive!!

John and Rachael said...

Good luck on the 19th!! Very inspiring post, I want to go down and run on my treadmill now.

Jen said...

Good luck on Saturday! Found you on Marathon Mommies and stopped over. I love these lyrics, I've never heard them before. I'll be there Saturday as well. Good luck! Can't wait to hear your success story!