It's already starting...

Me(After finding a suspicious puddle): Emily, did you go pee pee on the stair?

Emily: No

Me: Then who did?

Emily: Bryce did it! And he peed on the stair yesterday!

Oh boy! What have I gotten myself into?

How to Comfort in a Difficult Time

Last night I was able to go to a church function and see a lot of people I know. It was great to be with friends. One of my friends asked me how she could help someone who is going through a situation similar to what my family and I have been through. It made me realize that there are probably many of you wondering the same thing. I know it is tough to feel helpless and you don't know what to say. Here are the things that I really appreciated:

1. Just an email letting me know you are thinking of me.
2. Commenting on my blog that I am in your prayers.
3. A card in the mail.
4. Bringing dinner by unexpectedly.
5. Bringing a Christmas tree while I am gone because you know I won't get a chance to with it being so close to Christmas. (This was an AWESOME surprise.)
6. Offering to come with me to take care of Bryce. (Sarah, you are amazing! This was such a blessing!)
7. Coming to the funeral to show love and support.
8. Asking me about my dad so I can share the wonderful things about him. (This is a tough one because you know that it will make me cry.)
9. Just a phone call to check in on me.

Now I know everyone is not the same, but I know most people just want to know that they are cared about. I understand that many of you don't know what to say, but just knowing I am not alone is enough sometimes. Sometimes I want to be alone, and other times alone is the last thing I need to be. Please just don't be afraid to show me or someone else in a similar situation that you love them. We are all doing the best we can. Let's be there for each other.

Please post if you have any other suggestions for my friend.

I will post updates on my children soon.

So hard to say goodbye

I am sure you have all noticed it has been a while since my last post. 2 days after my last post my sweet father passed away. I was in the car when my mom told me, and I could barely catch my breath. I pulled over and just began sobbing. My kids and I were on our way to Chuck E. Cheese, and poor Dallin didn't know what to say to help me feel better. The next week was kind of a blur as I got ready to go home to be with my family again. We decided to leave Dallin and Emily with some good friends here and we just took Bryce. My awesome friend Sarah offered to come with us to help take care of Bryce. What a blessing she was to have with us. (Thanks Zook for watching your 4 kids and taking 2 days off work to let Sarah be with us.)

The funeral was beautiful. There were so many people there-it was standing room only. My dad has touched the lives of everyone he met. I loved talking with people that he worked with that I had never met before. They all said how kind he was and how he never complained. That is truly how my father is. He makes everyone feel special and that they are important.

My little sister and my older sister put together the eulogy and it was beautiful. I felt it really showed the man he is, especially his sense of humor! Each of the siblings talked about their favorite memories with Dad and then my mom spoke. My mom even read some things out of my dad's journals saying he was proud of his children. That really meant a lot to me. I feel the funeral was a great tribute to my dad.

That night my siblings and I all went back to my parents' home in the mountains. There was snow on the ground, so we hung out inside. My mom pulled out a book that my dad had written some of his childhood/adulthood memories in and we took turns reading the questions and his answers. It was wonderful.

The rest of the weekend was really low-key, just enjoying time as a family. I know my dad is so happy seeing all of us getting along. I hope we will continue to strengthen one another as we go through this difficult time. Thanks for everyone's love and support and prayers for me and my family. I wish you could have all known my dad. I will do a post soon about my dad and all his great qualities. Right now I just want to say how much I love him He is an awesome father, grandfather, friend, son, and brother. I love you, Dad!










The first and the last photos were taken by my friend and amazing photographer, Lisa Dillon. I am so grateful that we did this photo shoot!

I also posted about a run I did the day after my dad died.

A little pick me up

Today started out a little "blah" as I consciously decided not to run this morning. Instead, I slept in and still felt sluggish. (I need to remember this tomorrow!) It got better as the day went on when Suzie made me lunch and then watched my 2 older kids while I grocery shopped. Dinner ended up great and then I decided to go to the gym for a quick workout. While walking upstairs, I was glancing at the nominations left by YMCA members for employee of the month. I saw this one:

Kelly is a great parent/child kids gym teacher even with a tough month or two. My daughter enjoys it.

It made me smile and reminded me why I do enjoy working a few hours a week at the Y. I have been debating whether or not to keep working, and I am still not decided, but it is nice to feel validated every once in a while.

My little Manipulator

Emily never ceases to make me smile. (Or frustrate me!) Her newest tactic is to make us feel guilty. She has been fighting going to bed for quite a while, so after talking to many of our friends, we decided the solution was to put a lock on the outside of her door. When she won't go to bed, we lock the door. This was working quite while and she stopped fighting us. Well, now when we tell her we are going to lock the door, she says,
"The mean stepmother locked Cinderella in the room."

Ouch! What do you say to that?! She said it to Jeff tonight and he handled it better than I did. He said,

"Emily, the stepmother was locking Cinderella in her room just to be mean. We are locking you in because you won't go to bed."

She still wasn't happy. I have a feeling she is going to give us a run for our money. She already has. :-)



Here is a pic of Emily on her birthday when I was in St. George for the marathon. My good friend, Heather, watched her and Dallin so Jeff and I could go to St. George. I LOVE this picture.

Home Sweet Home

It was a tough decision, but we felt it was the right time for me to come home. I am so grateful for the time that I had with my mom and dad and siblings and everyone else(especially my dad) but it was time. Time for my mom to be with my dad. Time to be home. Jeff is amazing and drove from 7pm until we pulled into our driveway at 11am this morning. We came home to a beautiful sight. Our Christmas lights had been hung for us, there was a new Christmas mat at the door with flower pots, and it doesn't end there. My house had been cleaned from top to bottom and there was Christmas music playing in the background. I could not stop the tears. What wonderful friends I have. I truly don't feel deserving of their love, but I am incredibly grateful. I am glad to be home. Even glad to be doing Monday Laundry, ha ha!

I miss my friend

by Guest Blogger Suzie Petunia

I am happy for you, and I am sad with you. You have been missed by many, but you'll be home soon. You are driving down the highway right now. Here is to a safe and speedy return! Call me.

Go Cougars!

I love BYU football! We do not get to watch many of their games, so today was a rare treat. The BYU-Utah game is always a great game to watch. I didn't watch much of it because I was playing with my kids. (On the trampoline and in the spa.) However, I did get to see the end- where the Cougars scored a touchdown at the end of the game. Final Score- 17-10. Not a very high scoring game, but we won!

100 Favorite Memories

I know it is sad that it has taken me over 2 years to get 100 posts! But here I am. I have been debating how to celebrate this milestone, and decided I want to share SOME of my favorite memories over the years. Here they are in no particular order (okay, the first ones might be!)

1. Marrying my best friend and the love of my life, Jeff, in the San Diego temple.
2. Birth of Dallin.
3. Birth of Emily.
4. Birth of Bryce. (This one was my favorite birth because even though they were all c-section, this was the only one where the baby was never separated from me. It was very special.)
5. Blessing of Bryce. (My dad being able to come out and be there.)
6. Playing in the ocean with my sisters. (As a kid!)
7. Going to the Rams/49ers game with Jeff when he was interviewing in San Francisco with Intel.
8. Learning to waterski at Lake Mead with Val. (And just hanging out on the boat there.)
9. Knotts Scary Farm my sophomore year of high school.
10. Lake Powell with my Glenwood friends. (and my sister.)
11. Staying up Christmas Eve playing games with my sister waiting for Santa to fill our stockings.
12. Going dancing with all of my sisters.
13. Going to Raging Waters with Erik.
14. Talking with Erik until 4am.
15. Lake Powell with Jeff twice in one summer before we were married.
16. Girls Camp- as a youth, and as a leader!
17. Pioneer Trek- Twice, this was a huge testimony builder for me.
18. Skiing with Jeff at Powder Mountain.
19. Jeff surprising me and taking me to the Timberline Lodge to stay overnight and ski.
20. Running a marathon with absolutely no sleep the night before with Suzie. (The chatting was with Sue too!)
21. 4th of July and Christmas family parties.
22. Running 20 miles and then waterskiing after!
23. Toilet Papering. (Many memories of this!)
24. Playing phase 10 and chatting til all hours of the morning with Leah, Sara, Amelia, Rachael, and Eva Joy!
25. My microbiology study friends- Ellen, Becca, and Erica.
26. Shopping in Seattle with some of my awesome girlfriends!
27. Beach House trips every year.
28. Camping Trips with friends.
29. Hood to Coast.
30. Lake Powell trips with Jeff's family.
31. Roller Blading on the waterfront with Adam and Kristyn.
32. My awesome running friends. (Lots of different women over the last 5 years!)
33. Cruise for our 5 year anniversary with my aunt and my sister.
34. Sneaking out of cross country camp.
35. Staying up talking about the gospel with my dad.
36. Chicago concert with Val.
37. Kelly Clarkson concert with Jeff.
38. So you think you can dance show with Jeff.
39. Saturday's Warrior- Being in the production with Laura.
40. Book Club Discussions late into the night.
41. The first time I rode on a boat with Girl Scouts.
42. YCamp.
43. Magic Mountain.
44. Disneyland with my whole family.
45. Crystal visiting us in Oregon.
46. Visitng Silver Falls with many members of our famly.
47. Playing at the park for hours with Suzie and our kiddos.
48. Swimming at Lake Powell.
49. Running through the sprinklers.
50. Running in a 10k with Shelly and Crystal with no training!
51. My first marathon.
52. St. George Marathon
53. Winning the Black History Bee in 5th grade. (very proud of this!)
54. Trips to Utah for reunions.
55. Stake dances with Joni, Steph, and Laura.
56. 70's dance at the Cannon Center at BYU.
57. My engagement at the Joseph Smith Building.
58. Hiking the Y with Jeff.
59. Zuka Juice with Jeff.
60. Jumping on the trampoline.
61. Sleeping on the trampoline and looking up at the stars.
62. Taking skiing lessons.
63. Bungee Jumping.
64. Cliff Diving.
65. Hiking Multnomah Falls 2 weeks after having a baby!
66. Running along the Columbia Gorge for a race. I wish they still had this race.
67. Provo Canyon.
68. Staying up late talking.
69. Teaching at the Upward Bound program at Colorado State.
70. Learning how to play Settlers of Catan.
71. Playing Settlers of Catan with many friends.
72. Teaching many friends how to play Settlers of Catan.
73. My first fight with Jeff- it was over Settlers of Catan. :-)
74. Falling off my bike. (Oh wait, that is not a favorite memory)
75. Emily's princess birthday.
76. Hanging out with neighbors in our front yard.
77. Hugs from my kiddos.
78. Feeling the love of my Heavenly Father.
79. Talking to my dad on the phone.
80. Buying our first house.
81. Reading the Harry Potter series along with Jeff.
82. Road trips with Jeff.
83. BYU football games.
84. BYU basketball games.
85. Cheering my sisters on.
86. BYU Freshman Leadership conference.
87. Being a counselor at BYU freshman leadership conference.
88. Being a sports and games counselor at a camp in the mountains.
89. Disneyland grad night with Val.
90. Having great seats to my first Red Sox game(when they were playing Seattle)
91. Playing with my kids.
92. Going on runs with Jeff.
93. Going to Miami with Jeff to visit my grandm, great grandma, and great uncle.
94. Living in Austin, TX for a summer.
95. Playing intramural indoor soccer.
96. My mom coming to visit and help me just because I was stressed out and nervous for my 3rd pregnancy.
97. Coming home to new floors and a finished play room(thanks Sue!)
98. Beach sunsets.
99. Just being with family these last few weeks.
100. Qualifying for Boston. (Oh wait, that is still just in my dreams!)

Okay, I have many more, but that is all for now. Good night. Thanks to everyone who has been an important part of my life. I love you all.

Attitude of Gratitude

Well, being Thanksgiving and all, it is a good time to count my blessings. I hope I will take this attitude with me beyond today.

1. I am so grateful for my husband. Being separated for 2 weeks, I have definitely realized how much better we work as a team. I feel like I can get through anything with Jeff by my side. Yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of our first date. We started off as good friends and it is that easy friendship that continues to sustain us.

2. I am grateful for my children. I love seeing their 3 distinct personalities emerge. I missed Dallin immensely while he was gone. He is my rock and gets me through my day. He has a sweet spirit and is a lot of fun. I have enjoyed my bonding time with Emily, or "Little Reba" as my dad calls her. She is a little fireball and keeps me on my toes. Bryce is a sweet, fun baby who loves to laugh and giggle. He turned 6 months old yesterday and he is growing up so fast already. He is rolling all over the place and scooting/crawling to get to where he wants to goes. No staying in one place for him!

3. I am grateful for my parents. It has been very difficult watching my dad go through his physical trial, but it has reminded me of his strength and how much I want to be like him. His generosity is unmatched and I love that his sense of humor is still intact. My mother is a pillar of strength and yet she is willing to admit when she needs help. I am glad that I have been with her for these weeks. I have seen how many lives she has touched and how much people want to be there for her.

4. I am grateful for my siblings. There are 5 of us and we have had our ups and downs and changes in our friendships, but through it all we have become closer and learned to rely on one another. I have learned much from each one of them and I hope we can continue to be there for each other.

5. I am grateful for my knowledge and testimony of the gospel. I am definitely not perfect and I am grateful I don't have to be. The Savior takes over when I fall short. I am grateful to know I will be with my family forever. This brings me some peace during the toughest times.

6. I am grateful for good friends. I am continually amazed by their service and love. I only hope I can be there for them and know of their needs.

7. I am grateful for my health. As I went running yesterday and today I felt strong and healthy. I love being outside in the fresh air and feeling my Heavenly Father's love as my body moves in a rhythm.

8. I am grateful for my extended family. It has been so great to be around my grandma, my aunts and uncles and cousins during this time. I can't wait to see everyone and eat a great dinner!! (Another thing I am thankful for-food!)

So much more!! It is hard to complain when there are so many blessings right in front of me.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thanksgiving. I look forward to reading what everyone else is grateful for.

So Happy Together!

I know, I know I missed my post yesterday. But, I have to say I don't care one iota. All I care about right now is that I am back with my sweetheart and my little boy. I was so happy to see them. Poor Emily has been asking for daddy every time she wakes up. It is so good to be with them.

Yesterday was also my sister Crystal's birthday. She is 29-again. :-) She is one of the strongest, most generous people I have ever known. I love my friendship with her. It seems like we grow even closer as the years go by. I am grateful that she is my sister.

Alright, now I am going to enjoy being with everyone again. I will put up pics soon.

Potty trained- who me?

This is what I feel like Emily is saying to me. When she was sick for a week, it all basically went down the toilet(nice pun, eh?). Then we left 5 days later for California, and I just haven't had the energy to fight it. Today I found her in the bathroom with poo all over her shoe- disgusting! Oh well..

So, back to square 1 when we get back.

Mini Corn Dogs v. Chocolate

I decided I needed a break from the emotionally charged blogging. (and I am sure you all did too as I haven't had as many comments lately, ha ha!) I am still in my "no desserts" challenge but tonight I was just very "snacky." There was a bag of oreos sitting on my counter and a nice woman from church had left flowers and chocolates on my table. I was dying to eat either one, but I wanted to stick to my goal. So, I pulled out the mini corn dogs. :-)

What are your tricks for sticking to a diet? How do you stay motivated?

Run for Ryan Shay and lots more

I usually try to save my running posts for my "Marathon Mommy" blog, but today it was a run that affected me more than usual. As Suzie posted for me, I have had a very emotional week with my dad. Last night I went home to my parents house in the mountains, the house they were evacuated from almost 1 month ago. It was weird being in there with all of the memories that I have shared with my family, especially with my dad, knowing he most likely will not be going back to the house. I stayed up until about 4am with my little brother having a great talk(Thanks Erik!). And then, 4 hours later decided to still go for my run.

I don't know how many of you heard about the tragic event that took place at the Olympic Trials. 28 year old Ryan Shay collapsed and later died after running the first 5.5 miles of the marathon event. This was such an unexpected and horrible tragedy. There was a challenge set forth for people to support him by dedicating 5.5 miles for him on Saturday. I decided to take this challenge. When I started running, I decided to run down the highway to the area of my town most affected by the southern california fires. It was a very humbling sight. House after house I passed which only had their chimney standing. This little community had many of their houses destroyed. 7 homes on my own street had been burned down. It was hard to see the oranged painted numbers which signified a house had once been standing there. I had to fight back tears as I ran. I thought about how lives can be changed in an instant. I thought about Ryan Shay's parents and his wife that he left behind. I thought of all of those who lost houses, and even loved ones to the fire. I also thought of my own little family and the day I received the phone call that my dad had brain cancer.

I thought about how we all have trials and difficulties that we must face. We must support one another and be sensitive to each others needs. I am a firm believer that most hurt feelings happen unintentionally. We are all making our way through life the best that WE can. We are here to help each other along the way. It was a very inspiring run and I am grateful I took the challenge. I am also grateful for my health and that I was able to complete the run.

When I arrived home, many women from the church came and helped me put my parents' house back together. It is a beautiful sight to see people who truly care and love her wanting to make her life a little easier. I am so appreciative for all that they did.

No Whining

by Guest Blogger Suzie Petunia

Our dear friend, Kelly is on the road right now and can't post, so she asked me to do it for her. My words seem inadequate to convey what she wants to write today. But I'd do anything for this sweet friend of mine. So I'll try.

Her dad is dying of brain cancer. She is there to help her mom in his final weeks and days. There have been terribly difficult days, and then days when he is very lucid and able to communicate well. Today she had a sweet moment with her dad that made a life-changing impression on her. He told her that he was grateful, and that things could be so much worse. In her eyes this was hard to imagine. What could be worse than being evacuated from your home because of the S. California fires and be dying of brain cancer? He told her he felt grateful for his memories, that he was able to move, and talk with his beautiful daughter in his last days.

How can we complain when we have so little to complain about? Kelly is more determined than ever to not complain or be upset about things that are not that important. Her father's loving and genuine perspective on life and gratitude will be carried with Kelly, and hopefully all that read this, long after the official season for Thanksgiving has passed.

We all love you, Kelly. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. Through you, your dad's life and influence is felt and appreciated. All of your friends are here for you in the days and weeks ahead. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with all of us. We love you!

Halfway There

I have enjoyed posting every day this month. It hasn't been too much of a stress and it has let me share emotions that I might not have otherwise. Also, it reminds me that any goal can be accomplished if you take it one step at a time. I want to keep looking forward and make the changes in my life that I need to make. I want to keep things in perspective and not stress over things that aren't important. I want to show more love to my friends and family.

And, I will enjoy a treat now and then. (Only 1 week left of my sugar fast!)

Some of the fun times!

Hey everyone,

I will add pics througout the day today. Here is my first try at posting a video. I thought it would be fun for Jeff to see Bryce giggling.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Here are some pics. My sister and Tony have been awesome hosts. It has been great to visit with family.

Happy Veterans' Day and Spreading the Love

Yesterday I was a little preoccupied, so I thought I would share my feelings about our wonderful soldiers here. It is also appropriate because my dad was in the army before I was born.

I am so grateful for these men and women who selflessly serve our country so that we may enjoy the freedoms that we sometimes take for granted. I know I don't think about it often enough. They are willing to die so that we may worship as we see fit. We live in a nation with so many opportunities because of what these soldiers do.

I read this story and I really liked its message. So, here it is...

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she took all of the desks out of the classroom.

The kids came into first period, they walked in, there were no desks. They obviously looked around and said, "Ms. Cothren, where's our desk?" And she said, "You can't have a desk until you tell me how you earn them."

They thought, "Well, maybe it's our grades."

"No," she said.

"Maybe it's our behavior."

And she told them, "No, it's not even your behavior."

And so they came and went in the first period, still no desks in the classroom. Second period, same thing. Third period. By early afternoon television news crews had gathered in Ms. Cothren's class to find out about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of the classroom.

The last period of the day, Martha Cothren gathered her class. They were at this time sitting on the floor around the sides of the room. And she says, "Throughout the day no one has really understood how you earn the desks that sit in this classroom ordinarily." She said, "Now I'm going to tell you."

Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it, and as she did 27 U.S. veterans , wearing their uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. And they placed those school desks in rows, and then they stood along the wall. And by the time they had finished placing those desks, those kids for the first time I think perhaps in their lives understood how they earned those desks.

Martha said, "You don't have to earn those desks. These guys did it for you. They put them out there for you, but it's up to you to sit here responsibly to learn, to be good students and good citizens, because they paid a price for you to have that desk, and don't ever forget it."

I hope you felt what I felt as I read that. I am so appreciative of all that has been sacrificed for us.

I also want to thank all of you for your prayers and support. I will continue spreading the love in my comments because it lets me remember how grateful I am for my friends and loved ones!

How much to share?

First of all, thanks to all of you who have been posting on my blog. With everything that is going on in my life, I have really enjoyed having this outlet and feeling love and support from all of you. This was a good time for me to post every day.

That being said, yesterday was a real struggle for me. At first, I really liked the idea of documenting these last moments with my sweet father. After a really emotional day with him and my family yesterday, I was rethinking this decision. Then, as Bryce was screaming in my arms, I decided to just post my frustration.

Unfortunately, even though Bryce had 2 great naps today, he is up yet again. I am at my wit's end and my mom is holding him so I can get this post out. Thanks for your advice and sympathy.

Please just keep our family in your thoughts and prayers. I will try to say what I feel, without sharing too private or too personal emotions. I just don't think I can convey them accurately enough. For now, just be with me in spirit. I need the extra strength.

Help!

I can't get my baby to sleep.

That's all.